The Wall

Hit a wall. Kind of stops you from getting anywhere. Out campaigning in WI. Good couple of days so far. Great team of leaders and the kids are awesome. Campaigning isn't so bad: some rough times with crabby people, but its good to get away from school. I like talking with people about this stuff. Sometimes wish I could do more to get individual people answers, instead of marking down another call made, house visited. Sometimes you can only do so much. But stuff was going well. We had a lot going. The kids were working hard, behaving, all that stuff. The team was making things happen. Leading the kids. Helping each other out. Tonight something happened. Maybe its just catching up with me. All the pressure and lack of sleep. I could tell I was starting to be sarcastic and short with people. Started getting kind of annoyed at some of the kids. I overthink things. So I start to be critical of my ability to lead, the fact that I'm affecting my kids and the rest of the team. I ask what happened? Where did I start to go down hill? How do I get back on track? No answers. Things grind to a halt and I hit the wall. The thing about walls is that they don't move. You can't really just push through them. Working harder doesn't get the job done. Can't figure this out. All I see is what I think is reality- my failings. Just the fact that I hit a wall proves that. But maybe a wall is to tell me I'm going the wrong direction. Maybe a wall is to prove nothing more than that I can't do it.